Oh, goodness. Where to begin? It feels like I haven't even thought about this silly, little blog in ages. (I honestly forgot that I even had one...)
Obviously, a lot has happened since the last time I updated this thing. For one, I graduated from high school. (Yay!) I also got to go back to Girls State again, as a counselor this time, which was AMAZING. I also got a tattoo that says "Call me maybe!" on my back. Oh, and I adopted a baby giraffe.
Two of the preceding statements are false -- I'll let you decide which two.
Anyhow, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. (That smell of burning wood? Yeah, that's coming from me. HA, bad joke. Against myself...)
This summer, I've been trying to "take things one day at a time." Now, I know that this is obvious. We can only take each day as it comes. We can't redo yesterday, make tomorrow come early, blah, blah blah. But, I'm trying to make myself worry less, be more carefree, and take advantage of each precious moment. You see, there's a fine distinction between watching life inevitably pass you by and choosing to live fully. The fact of the matter is: no matter how you're currently living your life... it'll keep happening at the same pace. Sadness won't make seconds last longer, thankfully, and happiness won't make time suddenly shrink. Whether you like it or not, your life is marching forward.
I know what you're thinking: this isn't new information. These are all facts that everyone knows. How many people, however, actually choose to live like that? How many people get up each morning and decide, "I'm going to make today count."? (<-- that was a really weird sentence... I'm pretty sure that the question mark was placed incorrectly. Oh well.)
So, why now? Why am I feeling like this all of a sudden? Honestly, I have no idea. Maybe I was just sick of doing the same repetitive motions day after day. The past week, I've been doing spontaneous things, jumping off cliffs (literally), star-gazing next to bonfires, and just spending time with people who matter to me. And strangely, I can't even begin to describe to you how ALIVE I feel. I can finally let go of the things and people that have been hurting me. I realized that, "Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." I can just take time to breathe and let myself go. I can feel my heartbeat through the very tip of my finger tips as I keep thinking "YOLO" in my head over and over before pushing myself off a cliff (into "safe" water, mind you).
That brings me to my next point: YOLO. I know that you're probably rolling your eyes at the sight of it. I'll admit it; it's a pretty dumb concept, in theory. It certainly is not the same thing as Carpe Diem, and I feel like it makes humans seem more ignorant in general. But it has, sadly, been my motto during certain moments. Now, hang on a second -- let me explain. Calm yourself. I only embraced that term because I defined it in my own way. For me, YOLO doesn't serve as an excuse to do stupid things and hope that I don't die. That would be ironic, pointless, and, quite frankly, immature. For me, YOLO means giving everything your all. It means laughing with your friends one last time. It means telling your loved ones that you love them when you say goodbye for the day. It means having the courage to be yourself. And most importantly, it means conquering the fear that is keeping you from living your life to the very fullest. No, I don't mean your conscience that is keeping you from doing wrong things. That's a good thing; you need to keep your conscience intact. (Side note: There is a VERY distinct difference between your fear and your conscience. We'll explore that more some other time.)
Sorry, I just had to get all of this out of my system. I'm going to go to bed now. I'll ramble more later.
