This One's for the Girls...

DISCLAIMER: This is NOT a funny story. I’m sorry if you’re disappointed. I’ll be sure to post an amusing story (with pictures, of course) later. Soon.

SECOND DISCLAIMER: As previously mentioned, this post is specifically for the ladies.

Love.

Yes, it’s a word. It’s also a feeling. A killer. A life-saver. All you think about… and the LAST thing you want to think about.

Lately, it’s also been a phrase that’s been getting thrown around more and more.

So, I think I should put my thoughts about it on the internet. Because that’s totally the most subtle thing to do. Right? Right. (Wrong.)

Regardless, I’m going to address it. To a certain extent.

Just a few minutes ago, I was chatting with one of my friends on Skype. We went from talking about Hugh Jackman… to discussing the “L word”. In less than a minute. (Which is weird I know, but to be fair, she brought it up.)

She simply asked, “Oh Becky Becky! Have you ever been in love?”

I let my fingers hover over the keys for a few moments before I replied.

My answer? “Honestly?... I don’t know.”

I don’t think I’ve ever been in love. I think there are different types of infatuation and love, but I don’t think I’ve ever IN LOVE. I personally believe that true love is something that you never fall out of. Now don’t get me wrong, just because you’re in “true love” doesn’t mean that everything will work out.

Love is a privilege that you have to work at. Any single thing out there that is worth effort should take all of your energy. The more you work at it, the better it’ll seem.

I think that “love” is one of those thing that if you have to ask yourself whether you’re in it or not… you definitely aren’t. It’s one of those thing that if you’re in it… you’ll know. You know?

Girls, I know that our hearts are fragile. Even if you pretend like it isn’t.

At the same time, our hearts can take a lot more than you can imagine.

For starters, girls have the ability to watch an endless amount of chick flicks. Guys are tough, right? Sure. So, if the majority of guys out there can barely make it through a single chick flick, but we can watch as many as possible – does that make us manlier than them? …

Switching gears:

If a boy doesn’t call you back… you won’t die. Sure, the amount of ice cream in your fridge might decrease significantly – but you won’t die. I promise. (Unless you eat WAY too much ice cream. Don’t do that.)

Also, if you are single – it’s not the end of the world. Yeah, being single suck. A LOT. But the truth is, so far, all of us have spent the majority of our lives being single. You did not pop out of your mother’s womb seeking a boyfriend. NO, you popped out crying for air. And food. And other things that are ESSENTIAL for living.

If a boy breaks your heart, I have duct tape to fix it… along with two perfectly good fists to deck him in the face.

I know it’s not my place to say whether or not you have been in love. Love is a different experience for everyone.

But LOVE should be an intimate, mutual gift that is shared between two people. “Love” that is being driven only one way is not LOVE. It’s called an obsession. And will normally lead to unhealthy stalking and/or a lot of trips to the closest Redbox.

In MY opinion, love is not defined by how much something makes you smile. Or how often you think about something.

EXAMPLE:

Cake makes me smile.

My mother makes me smile.

If you’re reading this, YOU more than likely make me smile.

AND,

I think about cake a lot (because I’m a fat kid. Don’t judge me.)

I also think about my mom a lot.

And I think about YOU a lot.

BUT I’m not “in love” with any of those things. That would be wrong and gross. There are simply different levels of love and infatuation. And I think that people often mistake infatuation with true love. True love is the deepest concept that exists.

Love is not a selfish thing that only one person should get to experience. It should be something that two people build together.

So if you’re sitting here reading this and trying to figure out whether you’ve ever been in love – I don’t think you have. (I apologize if that’s out of line, but I’m not deleting it.)

True love exists when no matter what the consequences are or what other people might think, you can’t let someone go.

DON’T GET ME WRONG, I’m not talking about if a girl really, really “loves” a guy but he “just doesn’t get it” or “doesn’t realize how perfect you would be together” or “just doesn’t see it at the moment”.

That’s not love. That’s infatuation. (And can get a bit creepy.) Love should not be something that makes you have an unhealthy lifestyle. Being in love with someone who doesn’t feel the same way will slowly wear you down. Love should build you up. It shouldn’t make you hate yourself or things about yourself. It shouldn’t make you wish that you were different. It should make you embrace the things about you, especially the amazing things that someone else finds wonderful. It shouldn’t make you change yourself to fit into a mold. You and your special person should create a mold together that fits everything that you two need it to hold.

And sure, things can change. Sure, this guy that consumes your mind might one day feel the same way. But until that mutual feeling is reached together, it’s not LOVE. So quit abusing the word.

I’m wrong? Fine. Go with me for a second:

Let’s say that even if he doesn’t feel the same way, you still think you’re “in love” with him and can’t possible “love” him any more than you do at that moment. BUT what would happen if he started to feel the same way about you? Then what, you fall into “double love”? No, that’s silly.

Love is not forced. It’s a choice. A commitment.

People often say that you do crazy things when you’re in love. You don’t do crazy things because you lose your sense of logic. You do crazy things when the person makes you feel emotions that you never even knew you could feel. You feel so much that you become invincible. That’s when consequences don’t seem to be so big. All those chick flick moments where they do crazy things, but it all works out? Those moments are following this concept.

Love is priceless.

When you’re in love, you can’t lose in the sense that you’re able to overcome any worldly loss.

In English, there is one word to describe this type of feeling: love.

So for me personally, I’m not going to claim that I’ve fallen in love with someone until I honestly think that I can’t feel anything more for a certain person – and that person feels the same way back.

I don’t even want to go back and count how many times I’ve typed the word “love” today. It’s ridiculous how many times a day that the poor word gets used.

This whole post is more than likely completely out of line. This is coming from a 16-year-old girl who claims that she’s never been in love. I don’t expect anyone to agree with me. In fact, I doubt that a single person out there agrees with me. This is simply my opinion. My thoughts. My feelings. My heart on the internet.

So ladies, keep smiling your beautiful smiles. And if you don’t find love, it’ll find you. If people out there can’t see how wonderful you are and appreciate you and love you, they don’t even deserve to know your first name.

Love love love,

Becky

The love of my life at the moment: