Today was one of the most... awkward days of my life. -- I won't say why.
Anyways, as soon as I stepped outside into the perfect weather after school ended, I said, "Guys. We HAVE to play soccer today." After making a series of plans, we agreed to meet up around 5:00 to play. When we all got there, all we had was a ton of food, water, Dr. Pepper, and a soccer ball. The group consisted of: me, Anne, Beka, Lauren, Sydney, Victoria, Vanessa, and Melissa. We started by kicking the ball around randomly and whatnot... then somehow, I started to lose myself. The more we started to play around, the more I started to forget about my awful day. I hadn't laughed this much in a long, LONG time.
We started out by playing a couple games of "soccer" (which soon turned into a game where we just ran around while laughing and breaking every rule of soccer). After we decided that we were "tired", we decided to play red rover (because, you know, that take such LESS energy, right?). We played for a little while before we were "tired" again. Then, we all collapsed and ate and ate and ate. We started to talk about things going on in our lives and laughed at our problems. We threw food at each other. We just kept eating and enjoying each others company. We didn't need anything else. After a while, I jumped back up and insisted that we run around until someone threw up. Obviously, I was kidding. But everyone got up and took their shoes off -- and the next thing I knew, we were playing a game of tag in the dark... all over the soccer field. We played until we all felt tired and worn out. Even though I was physically tired, I felt so alive inside. I pointed at the airplanes and pretended like they were stars. Actually, I really thought they were stars... until they started to move. (It was dark, okay?)
Finally, someone said that we should probably head out since it was completely dark by now, and the soccer complex was technically closed. We all headed to our cars to say goodbye. I, for some reason, decided to crank up some dance/rave music. Next thing I knew, our goodbye session had turned into a dance party. We turned on our lights, and I cranked the music up even more. We flashed our lights and danced with each other like no one was watching. We pulled our cars into a circle and danced in the middle of all of the lights.
It was at that moment that I realized that I had judged today before it was even close to being over. When I look back at today, all of the bad things that happened during school seem so far away now. I legitimately forgot that it was still Thursday. Even though not all of my close friends were there, I still got to enjoy myself so much. I got the break from reality that I needed. Time never stopped, but my perspective changed. I still don't have a solution to everything, but that's okay. That's what God's for. I'm not meant to know everything or control everything. I should be thankful for all of the little things in my life that have been consistent, even when new bad things pop up. Why was I trying to make things so hard? You can be happy at any moment, if you choose to be that way. It's all about your state of mind.
I was reminded today how amazing each and every one of my friends are. Their impact on my life is priceless. It's indescribable. Even this account of my day does not do the few wonderful hours justice. I needed today. Even after I had dropped Victoria and Vanessa off at home, and returned to an empty house, I didn't feel alone. I needed a shower so bad, but I couldn't stop smiling. God is good. He hears our calls. He gave me today for a reason. I LIVED today to the fullest, in my opinion. Tomorrow is always a fresh start.
There's a difference between living your life and merely continuing to exist. I want to LIVE.
Oh, and Victoria just texted me saying: "I have bruises :D" -- like I said, today was unforgettable.
KNUCKS. :D
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