SO, I've been thinking about the word "expectations" lately. In case you haven't noticed... they are EVERYWHERE. They are present at school, home, church, friends, etc., etc., etc.
My questions for you are:
1. WHY ARE THEY EVERYWHERE?!
2. How do we deal with them?
3. What are your expectations for yourself?
Whether you're willing to admit it or not, you hold yourself at some standard. Some choose to push themselves further up than others. At what point is it okay to compromise on our expectations? At what point can we say to ourselves, "Well... I guess things didn't work out the way I expected them to... so I guess I'll settle."? I know that you probably set your standards pretty high. At least I hope you do. So when things seem like they don't reach high enough... what do you do? Do you try harder? Do you get rid of the things holding you back? Or do you let yourself be consumed by negotiations and setbacks?
Everyday, I see people in my life make decisions. Some choose to endure some hurt and hardships... because they know that it'll be worth it in the end. They can see what they want, and they go for it with everything they have. These people might seem to get destroyed the most, but they are also the strongest people that I know/have ever met. I can't tell what exactly they're going through from a normal conversation. I have to really search to find the ways that they subtly call out for help. They're the ones who go through so much, but still try to offer themselves to others. They're the ones who will end up truly happy in their lives.
Some choose to lie to themselves. It's like they only have silver coins in their hands... but they close their eyes and tell themselves that the coins are actually made out of gold. The fact that they have any money at all is what seems to matter the most. They desperately try to be content at all times by reaching for the things that they think will make them happy... then they hang on to those things. Even if those things don't meet their expectations. Later, they wonder why they aren't happy. It's like they're so desperate for the world's definition of "happiness" that they're blind to the fact that they are ones who are actually keeping themselves from true happiness. (Did that make sense?) The simple truth is: settling for less always comes at a cost. Why do you save up to buy something expensive for so long... then spend it all on cheaper things instead? You will always see what you could've had -- and you will see the thing that you settled for, and it will tear you down little by little every day.
Then you have the people who let this world rule them. They let the unhappiness inside of them grow and grow until they become bitter and spiteful. They envy what others have. They anticipate so much... but do so little. They wait for everything to come to them. Honey. Let me just tell you something. As long as you are sitting on the opposite side of the field... that ball of happiness will never come rolling over to you. You might get lucky of someone is willing to kick/pass it to you -- but don't hold your breath.
To be quite honest, I'm not sure where I'm going with any of this.
Keeping all of this in mind, HOWEVER -- if we live in an imperfect world... is the act of settling necessary to achieve the maximum level of happiness? Should we make our expectations low just to "make sure" that we don't fall short?
NO. My personal answer is simply: no. Settling is never necessary in order to find true happiness.
But don't lie. We all do it. Whenever you take a test at school, you always say something like, "Oh my gosh. I just completely bombed that test." Even if you studied for 29374923874239 hours, you keep telling yourself that you failed. Why? Because we get overjoyed when we EXCEED our expectations. This does not mean that we should just lower all of our expectations though. If you do that just to be surprised by life's outcomes... please slap yourself.
I'm just going to stop here because it's late and I have no idea what I'm saying anymore.
Who doesn't love a good quote? Or three?
"In a word, I was too cowardly to do what I knew to be right, as I had been too cowardly to avoid doing what I knew to be wrong."
"If you can't get to be oncommon through going straight, you'll never get to do it through going crooked."
"Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts."
-Great Expectations
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